Why Healing Hurts

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Have you ever found yourself wanting to heal in a certain area of your life, asking God or the Universe to help you? Wanting it so much it hurts? If yes, then you probably expected that what would follow would be relief, soothing, feeling better and to just plainly heal. But what you got instead was the opposite: more of the same, more discomfort, pain, emotional and mental anguish. Moreover, the circumstances around you seem to match exactly what is going on inside you. You asked for healing, and you asked the Divine to help you. What you got instead was everything but healing. It's confusing, hurting and it seems that you are being punished. You wonder why. Isn't asking for healing suppose to heal you? Yes, it is and God usually does it in a very simple and graceful way. She will first shine a very bright light on what hurts, in the places we are broken, where we are mistaken about our identity, where we have kept ourselves small and inauthentic. Why would God do this? We are hurting already, why make these places so obvious? So they finally become obvious to us. In order to heal, we must first take account of what, how and why we hurt. The beginning is the acknowledgement of what is. This light will keep shining until we can't ignore it anymore. The Sufi poet Rumi said this: "the wound is where the light enters". To me this means that the places we hurt are exactly where the healing begins. 

Acknowledgement is first, willingness is second. Willingness to sit down with ourselves and to allow ourselves to become vulnerable and open, to ask questions and to listen to answers. Once we begin this process of asking ourselves what is really going on, we will be surprised at what surfaces. Memories, times when we were scared, felt inadequate and small, times when the pain was so big that we tucked it away in a corner because feeling it meant we would break, begin to surface. Everything and anything that we could not and would not allow ourselves to feel and experience will come up. It's amazing what happens when we give permission. This seems contradictory to the desire of healing. Why would all of this come up when all we want is to be without all these things? Because healing means feeling it all. The spiritual saying goes: "What you resist persists, and what you look at disappears." The truth about healing is this: it doesn't come from anywhere else, but you. What has happened to you, your hurts, disappointments and your ailments may have been produced by someone else, but only you have the power to heal them. When you ask for healing, the Divine in you rises to the occasion, giving you the power and means to heal yourself. And how does that happen? By allowing everything that was stored away to pass through you, without judgement, demands or wanting to change it in any way. It is you bearing witness to yourself, to all of yourself, not just the pretty parts. Healing means you see, accept and embrace all of you, especially the parts you would rather forget. God steps in as this part of you who loves all of you, without ifs or buts. You don't need anything special to do this work. All you need is awareness and willingness to do it. I  can tell you from personal experience that it's much easier to do it with someone by your side. And not just anybody, but someone who understands, who's done the work and who gets what the benefits are. It's not easy work by any stretch of the imagination. It requires tremendous strength, courage and determination. I wish I could tell you that you will see the results overnight. But I would be lying. Spiritual work does not come with any magic, "as seen on TV" pills. It comes with patience, vulnerability, willingness and staying the course. 

There will be many times when you will want to quit your own healing. That's when you will need the most help from someone who can encourage you, walk with you and hold the light up for you. Kind of like Sam and Frodo Baggins in Lord of the Rings. Sam could never take the ring to its end, but he was with Frodo every step of the way.  A coach can be your Sam. They understand what you are going through and many have already done their own healing work. No two healing stories are ever alike but they entail the same steps.

So if you are about the embark on a healing journey, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What are the benefits of finally letting go of my past hurts?
  2. How can I become comfortable with feeling all the emotions that will surface in this journey?
  3. How can I become aware that I deserve to be healed and live a happy life?
  4. What support (internal or external) do I need to complete this journey?